Regardless of how
brave a man appears to be in going after
a woman he is truly interested in, there are some specific persons in that
woman’s life whom he finds intimidating because of their influence on her
decisions. The same applies for women in certain situations.
For a man, the people
who can make or break that relationship he seeks with a woman, include her
father (for women it’s his mother), her children if she’s a mother, her best
friend, her pastor and her ex.
I have said before and
will repeat that men are just as emotionally fragile as women, they are just
better at hiding it. This is why a lot of women have no idea how nerve wracking
it can be for a man to get past the gatekeepers in her life. Here’s why these
persons have such a huge impact on whether a man gets past the gate or if he
does get in, whether he is able to remain.
1.
Her father: A man understands how another man thinks so a
woman’s father normally has his antennas up when it comes to a man who wants to
court his daughter. This is even worse
if he was a girls’ man or the wild type back in his day. A good father is normally
very protective of his daughter so any man who wants to take her from him has
to be thoroughly scrutinized and sometimes well investigated too. This can make
a man very nervous especially if his intentions are not good or the daughter
has a very close relationship with her dad. My own father could tell me within
the first five minutes of meeting my date, whether he was up to any good, and
he was always right.
2.
His mother: The woman who immediately hits it off with
her man’s mother can count her lucky stars for she has struck gold! For a new
girlfriend, a man’s mother can be the most intimidating person in his family.
If God smiles on her and momma likes her, everyone else is almost irrelevant.
Even throughout a marriage, a man’s mother can remain an intimidating figure
for the wife. The pressure is even greater for women whose men are very close
to their mothers, and whose decisions are heavily influenced by whether momma thinks
it’s a good idea.
3.
Step-children- When a man gets with a woman he likes, who
has children from another relationship, the experience can be comparable to
walking on eggshells. It is not easy to get past that gate, if her children do
not welcome him. It can therefore be very painful for a man who meets a woman
he truly wants to be with, but her children are determined to make it an
experience from hell. It is a very tough position to be in, when a woman likes
a man that her children are opposed to, for no reason, other than that he is
not their daddy.
4.
Her best friend: A woman’s best friend is a very influential
person in her life, including her intimate relationships. A best friend,
whether male or female can sometimes cause a man to be locked out, regardless
of how hard he is knocking at the gate. Women confide a lot in their best
friends and if the best friend’s advice is taken as gospel as is the case with
some women, a man needs to win the best friend over if he is to get anywhere
with the woman he wants. Not every woman makes a decision based on what her best
friend thinks but many do and in those cases, a man can find that a woman’s
best friend holds that key he so badly wants in order to get past the gate.
5.
Her Pastor: Oh yes, this is a big issue for a lot of
dating or married Christian couples. Pastors can be very influential in a
Christian woman’s life and if she is misguided in terms of her role as a wife,
this can be quite detrimental for her marriage. Out of ignorance, a lot of
Christian women are more dedicated to their Pastor and their duties at church
than they are to the needs of their husbands or in sustaining a happy and
healthy marriage. A man might therefore find that Pastor’s instructions
overrule his in his own household and if pastor does not approve of him, he
might not get through that gate or if he does, he will be in for a rough ride.
6. Her ex: If he is the possessive, obsessive type, a woman’s ex, can
be a big turn off for a man who is seeking to be with her. Not everyone has the
patience to deal with the drama that comes with a woman who has an obsessive or
controlling ex. She could be a very good woman who is unfortunately saddled
with the burden of the ex from hell, but unless it’s a man who genuinely loves
and wants her in his life, the stress of that situation could keep him at bay.
Marie
Berbick aka The PR Girl, is a Communications Specialist, motivational speaker
and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment
& Restoration. (SUPHER). Follow her on twitter @thePR Girl. Email marieberbick@gmail.com
