Hell Hath No Fury Like a Man Cheated On!

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but that’s not exactly true. Hell hath no fury like a man cheated on! Ask any man what he fears most in a relationship and his response won’t be losing his money. It’s giving his heart to a woman who cheats on him or leaves him for another man.

Men are hunters and they are very competitive and territorial about their women. A man can own a host of material things that he cherishes but he is better able to deal with losing material things, than he is at dealing with being cheated on. Even if he has other women, that special woman who has his heart must not cheat. She is HIS and another man crossing the line into his territory is not only seen as daring and disrespectful but it is demoralizing to him.

If she cheats on him, it is as though a rug has been swept from under his feet—a massive blow to that feeling of being the King of the hill.  This is because ego is a major part of what sustains a man in a relationship and being cheated on is a huge blow to his ego.

One of the toughest things for a man whose woman cheats is having to block out the thoughts of her in bed with the other man. Men are visual beings with photographic minds, especially when it comes to sex, so a man who has been cheated on immediately begins to conjure up images of the other man being intimate with his woman and it drives him nuts.

Sometimes the cheating doesn’t even have to physically take place before he begins to formulate images in his mind. He just needs to know or suspect that another man is moving in on his woman and the images of her with him, is enough to make him snap. He cannot fathom the thought of another man being intimate with his woman.

Being such a visual being is what aids in pushing a man over the edge if he suspects that his woman might be cheating. Right away he is thinking about the sexual things he may have done with his woman, her expressions and reactions and he conjures up images of his woman in similar scenes of intimacy with this other man. His mind goes into overdrive trying to figure if she considers the other man a better lover than he is.

For the most part, a woman wants to think that a man, at the first sight of her, has a pure mind, with no immediate thought of what it would be like to have sex with her but no such thing. Men are wired to think about sex.  The UK Telegraph in 2014, quoted a study in the Journal of Sex Research, which found that men think about sex – on average – 34 times a day, compared with women at 19. Based on the confessions of even men we consider to be gentlemen, within a short time of meeting a woman he likes, a man begins to visualize what she looks like without her clothes and what both of you would look like in the Garden of Eden! 

Another tough scenario for a man who has been cheated on, is that he might even have other women and does things with them that he does not do with his woman at home. If she cheats, he imagines that man, possibly doing to her, the things he has done with his other women and that kills him. When it comes to cheating, it is easier for him to give than to take.

Men understand each other. A man might cheat and when he is with friends, boast about his sexual encounters with other women. He is OK with beating his chest as long as he doesn’t think that HIS woman is cheating on him because a healthy ego is an important part of what defines him as ‘the man’ in a relationship.

In one of my little sessions with male friends last week, I was schooled that some men also extend their territorial rights to their other women.  It’s just a man thing. One of the men in the focus group explained it like this: A man might be able to deal with a side woman who has been involved with 49 other men before he came into the picture. However, number 51 must not happen. She stops with him, number 50 and that’s that. If she gets involved with number 51 he views it as cheating although he has HIS bonafide woman at home.

The knowledge among men, of how they think, how they view sex and cheating, is what makes a man so afraid to trust another man around his woman. A man wants to be able to own his woman and shout it from the mountain top that she is faithful to him. A woman who holds a man’s heart can do serious damage to him if she cheats for she has power over his ego. The truth is that men, despite their tough facade are very much human, and quite vulnerable emotionally.

 http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-man-cheated-on_62221

Marie Berbick is a motivational speaker and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration. (SUPHER). Follow her on twitter @thePR Girl. Email marieberbick@gmail.com