More and more women
are earning degrees, launching into business ventures and holding down jobs
that allow them to be financially independent. However, a significant number of
these women are struggling to find good partners who can comfortably handle their
independence for a successful relationship. Sometimes the attitude of an
independent woman is the main reason she is unable to have a successful
relationship, however, men are also doing a number of things wrong, as it
relates to relationships with a woman who can hold her own financially.
Here are a few things
a man should know about a woman who can hold her own financially.
1. A confident man is very attractive--- Men appear to be easily intimidated by
women who don’t need them to be their main provider. However, confidence and
ambition can go a far way for a man who wants to capture the heart of an
independent woman. A man who has no money in his pocket but has loads of confidence,
drive and ambition, can get further with an independent woman than a man who
has some money but isn’t confident when he is around her. The key to getting
this kind of woman to consider you worthy is your confidence and how you treat
her.
2. She still wants a man who can back her up -- Financial security
carries a heavy weighting among things women want in their relationships but, being
able to take care of herself doesn’t mean an independent woman wants a man who
is unable to pull his weight in the relationship. Whilst she can afford to pay
her own bills, this kind of woman still wants to know that a man is willing to
contribute to her life in a tangible way. While she might not expect you to pay
her rent, mortgage or utilities, she has hopes that you will be supportive and step
up in other ways. If she always has to pay the bills on dates it can become
tiring, so don’t sit back and wait for her to take out her purse every time you
go out. She still wants gifts, she still wants to feel like a woman, she still
wants to feel your impact in her life so step forward and do what you can or
she will eventually lose respect for you.
3. Don’t allow her success to intimidate you- Unless she is self-centered,
most independent women do not want someone who fawns over them. She wants your
respect and admiration but don’t act like you are star struck over her
achievements. These women are often leaders, they are used to getting things
done so they admire strong confident men who compliment those traits. The best
way to get this kind of woman to take you seriously is to acknowledge her
uniqueness but be confident in yourself as being deserving of her. Don’t tell
her things like “I don’t deserve you or ask questions such as “What do you see
in me?” Show her the value you bring to her life and be confident that you are
what she needs.
4. Be the man in the relationship - Some independent women can be head strong
mainly because they are used to holding their own. She possibly got to where
she is without depending on a man. The mistake some men make with these women
is they refuse to be the man in the relationship. They sit back and wait for
her to lead in every way when they should take charge of certain things without
being controlling. Don’t wait for her to come up with solutions to every
challenge you have, step out and lead. If you demonstrate that you are mentally
strong and that she can trust you to resolve issues, she will have the
confidence to let go of the desire to always lead. If you fail to be the man in
the relationship, she might lose respect for you.
5. Make her feel like the woman in the relationship—No matter how tough
an independent woman appears to be, it is quite likely that she still wants to
be treated like a kitten outside of work mode. No man is an island so an independent women
also wants companionship and balance in her life. Treat her like she’s the
woman in the relationship and romance her. Stop seeing her as this strong woman
who doesn’t need you. Show her that she can rely on you to bring her comfort
and be her rock when she doesn’t feel strong.
Marie
Berbick is a communications specialist, motivational speaker and founder of the
women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment &
Restoration. (SUPHER). Follow her on twitter @thePR Girl.
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